It’s time to rip it up and start again

I copped on soon enough that I would never really understand this pylon pox-up unless I went back to the beginning of the sorry tale.

My reading has taken me back to the early days of the original energy plan. Bertie did the original doodle when he took breaks from reading ps I love you”.  I don’t know if he was smoking back then but the whole thing has a feel to it like it was written on the back of a box of smokes. Noel Dempsey copied it into his colouring book when his mammy allowed him to visit Bertie for a play date. It was called “Delivering a Sustainable Energy Future For Ireland.

Now I only did a year in Maynooth before I left to lay blocks – me mam was in tears but a mans gotta do what’s needed and my da wasn’t getting any younger – but even I can see that report was ‘tidied up’ by a mad rapper with a crack pipe. Jeannie Mac, it has enough spin to power the GridLink.

The plan was taken up by the Green Party when they whored themselves to the FF and came into Government.  Bertie’s plan had called for 33% renewable energy but John Gormley had to show that his dick was bigger than Bertie’s so he took that to 40%. This was when the EU was asking us for 16%. Go figure. The baton was picked up by Eamon Ryan who continued singing loud for the wind farms.  Yes, your right, that’s the same Eamon Ryan who is now running so fast in the other direction like he’s got a wind turbine up his arse. Or maybe he’s running for Brussels? And now the latest Minister is running for the wind farms like a rabbitte after a carrot.

This government is very good at blaming everything on the last government. Jesus, Mary and Joseph – do we look like eejits? You’ve had three years to stop the madness that is Grid25, but instead you’re pushing the plan like a streel askin for it.

The EU was telling us that we had to get our renewable energy from three sectors – transport (electric cars); heating (retrofitting: insulating attics and walls) and power generation (creating electricity).

What this government has done is ignore the first two and throw all their eggs into the third basket – electricity generation. And even there they have gone big on one type of electricity generation – the wind farm. They ignored other types of electricity generation like hydro, or collecting the gas from the slurry tank or all sorts of other clever ways– ways that will create jobs at home. Fine Gael and Labour have rather gone with buying wind turbines from the Germans and the Swedes, which can either be operated by one or two people (Germans or Swedes) or can even be operated by a computer in another country (no jobs for anybody).

And all this based on a plan written on the back of a box of smokes seven years ago by a politician who couldn’t change a light bulb. Bertie might have been an energy engineer when it came to buying a round for the lads after a match, but not when it came to deciding this country’s energy policy until 2020. And Noel couldn’t even colour in without going over the lines.

We are used to politicians spouting shite like that Limerick sewer pipe during the floods but at some stage you gotta dig in and say ah come on lads, you’re taking the piss!  We might even have a laugh-ana-nudge-ana-wink at the cute hoors. But not with this. This is reckin people’s lives. It is destroying their health. It is breaking up families. It is another reason for the young ones to leave for Oz or the States without looking back.

We need to ‘rip it up and start again’.

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Politicians and cute hoors

I realised today that I wouldn’t throw a politician on my fire even if it was the only thing I had to warm my house. The stink would be awful.

You’d be amazed what someone with a bit of time on his hands can find on the internet, while his daughter coughs in her bed, his cat is up the pylon and its brass monkeys outside. I’ve been reading all I can on the Grid 25 project, and before that what was called the NREAP (National Renewable Energy Action Plan). The whole feckin thing was cooked up by politicians for politicians. The ordinary person didn’t get a look-in.

The same goes for EirGrid – it came in under the radar. After Mary O’Rourke was bet black n blue over her handling of the whole electricity mess she quietly cooked up EirGrid by Regulation, instead of putting it before the Oireachtas and the voters. Ordinary feckers like me didn’t have a notion that EirGrid even existed until it was too late. Us poor eejits have only been hearing about Eirgrid in the last coupla years (some people in the last coupla months) but EirGrid was invented back in 2000, whilst those FF gobshites were in power.  It was their plan – scribbled down on the back of Bertie’s packet of smokes. The same gobshites who are now jumping up and down pointing fingers at Enda and the Rabbitte. You couldn’t tell em apart, that’s why they wear the coloured ties.

Fianna Fail cooked the whole thing up. Fine Gael and Labour ran with the ball when they saw the money at the end of the rainbow and so doubled the order of wind farms, hoping to sell power to the Brits. The wind farms need 400kV cable to connect to the grid, and 400kV cable needs pylons to hold it up. Now its goin arseways cos the Brits don’t need our electricity and we are paying millions to the private wind farms to switch off at night. So now the hoors are jumping ship like the rats they are as they’re looking at a beating in the elections.

The neck of them thinking they could put pylons across the country. They got so used to talking down to us and telling us what to do. They got away with the Great Bank Robbery. They got away with the less wages and more tax. They got away with the cut in child benefit. They got away with the land tax and the second residence tax when we took on the mortgage for our kids who had no jobs but their own kids to house. They even took away a free visit to the dentist – not that it would affect their shark smiles. But then they got too cute and thought they could build pylons outside our doorsteps – and now theyre caught with their bollix hanging out.

Ireland is now top of the EU hit parade as the most corrupt state in Europe. That’s quite a show when we have the Italians, Spanish and French for our neighbours. Pity it aint Eurovision  – we would win the feckin thing again and Marty would have something to talk about.

The system stinks like a County Manager’s piss after a flagon. If the newspaper writers actually want to become journalists again, they might want to take a look at a few things:

Who is on the EirGrid Board and where did they come from and how much are they paid?

How many ex-Ministers and TDs hold positions in EirGrid?

What really happened to the ESB pension monies?

How many FF ex-Ministers and current FG/Labour Ministers own land in the GridLink corridors?

How many Ministers and TDs, both current and ex-, have money in wind farms?

What promises did the current and past governments make to the private wind farm owners? In particular, is there a penalty payment to the owner if the wind farm is not hooked up to the grid?

For example (and this is one tiny example of a stinkin mess), why did the Waterford County Council extend the planning permission on Barrannafaddock Wind Farm seemingly in complete contravention of the conditions attached to the original planning permission?

Who makes Pat Rabbitte’s suits? (that one is my own question – the man is the dog’s bollocks for makin a silk purse out of a sow’s ear – and I need a new suit for my neighbour’s son’s wedding next month).

Who am I?

My name is Padraig. I’m your ordinary bloke. I have a loving wife and a very sick child. I have decided to call myself Paddy Pylon cos I have powerful enemies with bank balances larger than Tesco’s annual turnover. They are sailing huge boats loaded with pylons and wind turbines across the Irish Sea as we speak. They do not like being contradicted. They treat politicians like cheap toys: if they can’t be controlled, they are ruined and tossed aside. I don’t see many ruined politicians in this country. Go figure.

Two years ago I was approached by your man in a sharp suit. He asked if they could build a pylon near the bottom of my plot. There would be 30 000 euro in it for me. I remember asking at the time why specifically 30 000 euro? He told me it was a popular figure in the pylon industry as they found it was enough for most people. I believed his smile at the time.

Things were not good then as I had just lost my job in the building trade and I had a young child. My wife had a job in one of those talk centres but that went belly-up after the government weren’t bothered to step in. My pension funds with Irish National went away and never came back, along with the bosses of that fine institution. The whole thing was desperate altogether. So 30 000 euro was enough to bring me over. I never copped on that it was 30 pieces of silver and I had just placed my family in wicked danger.

We don’t sleep. We always feel bad. We have aches and pains all the time. We look shook all the time. My daughter has missed so much school I have started home-schooling her. Even when she does get to school the lads all laugh at her cos she’s so pale and skinny with big black circles around her eyes. When I manage to get a job here and there the lads are always asking if I’m scagged cos I look awful. My wife’s hair comes off in bunches. But nobody wants to mention the C word.

That pylon makes such a feckin racket so there is no sleep.  I surf the internet a lot, looking for stuff on pylons and trying to avoid EirGrid’s shite website. I came across this English professor called Dennis Henshaw. Sure, he’s the auld enemy but what an eye opener. Your man Dennis explains that when dust settles on pylons and power cables it becomes electrically charged, sort of like iron filings left on an electromagnet.  Only smaller.  And deadlier.  And they can fly on the wind much further.

This is from an open letter that Dennis wrote a while back:

In the case of high voltage overhead powerlines, these should not be built close to houses or farms where cattle and poultry are housed.

The available evidence on adverse health effects of MF exposure speaks for itself. No longer can we talk of differing opinions of whether or not there are such adverse health effects: the question is not about what people think, rather it is about what the evidence says.

Official review bodies are usually constrained by their Terms of Reference and have not been in a position to access the bulk of our scientific knowledge of MF interactions with biological systems. As I will explain below, I estimate that such bodies have at most addressed only 10% of the available evidence/data.”

All we hear from our Ministers is that there is no danger and that they (the Government) would never dream about hurting Irish citizens. What a crock. And now they have appointed an expert panel with terms of reference as narrow as Victoria Beckham’s arse. As Dennis says, they will only be allowed to see 10% of the evidence. If that wasn’t bad enough, your man Rabbitte now says the panel’s findings won’t be binding, which shows they are running scared even from that 10%.

The talking heads on the government payroll have been very cute with their little speeches. All they talk about are non-ionised dust  particles in their bogus studies telling us there is no danger. Sure, why would ordinary dust be dangerous? Do we look like eejits?

The dangerous dust is the supercharged stuff that comes off and down from the electric cable. It sticks on your skin and gives you skin cancer. It sticks on your lungs and gives you lung cancer. It attacks our kids with their weaker immune systems and gives them leukemia. It does the same with cows and horses.

As you can see, I’ve learned a bit from the internet. I’m still just your man who used to lay blocks for a living, but I have some knowledge that the government is trying to hide from me, and all those others with families in the EirGrid corridors. And by Jaysus I am hoppin’ – how dare you make my family sick without warning me about what I was getting into?

All I can say is when your man comes sliding up with his 30 000, answer him and the Minister like I should have: ” I will in me hole, now feck off my land”.

Dennis Henshaw is speaking in Trim on the 10th of February. I will be in the front row. I hope Nationwide or your wan on Prime Time make a film of his talk.